Win a 2-yr golfing holiday with Donald Trump at his Mar-a-Lago Resort
The lucky winner of this competition will get to spend 2 years* with the American President at his Mar-a-Lago golfing resort in Florida.
You'll become "best golfing buddies", sharing rounds of golf, laughs and Tweets together. Evening meals will be taken with Trump and his entire family** and a few special Russian pals. And on some evenings you'll be joined by Nigel Farage who can often be found down-wind of President Trump. There'll be sing-songs round the piano (led by Donald, of course) and beautiful masseuses*** expertly trained in small hand massage to cater to all your relaxation needs. You can then round out each day by randomly sacking various members of the resort's staff.
Competition only open for one day: 1st April
*or the rest of Trump's term in office
**we can't promise that you will ever see Melania Trump during your 2 year staycation
***beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Sounds fab, huh?
Well, we're sorry to have to announce that this competition exists only in our dreams and this is, in fact, Fake News; otherwise known as an APRIL FOOL!